Friday 9 November 2007

10 weeks post-op











Before v 9 days post-op v 10 weeks post-op

Ok, I'm now just over 10 weeks post-op, and I can't say the constant worrying has stopped yet! The 'pointy-ness' underneath is still a bit of an issue for me, and in some pictures seems to look like a lump on
the underside of my right breast, but this changes every day, one day I think it's really obvious and getting much worse, the next they look perfect! Mainly sleeping on my side again as I hate sleeping on my back so much, and haven't noticed much of a correlation of pointyness with sleeping position recently! I was a bit worried I might be bottoming out, but I don't think this is the case... In terms of size and shape (aside from sometimes noticing 'points' and 'lumps'!) they look fantastic - I'm now in proportion with a generous helping on top! They are still dropping, but at a much slower rate now - they still have a little way to go in losing upper pole fullness before they'll look completely natural in my eyes but it's definitely getting much better - I'm hoping the pointyness is just a phase they're going through as they settle... Oh, I think they have grown slightly! Some of my bras have been getting tighter, and they look fuller - I guess the skin is fully relaxing now - they're very soft and squashy too, except when I lie down. They feel completely natural, except for the lowest quarter, which still feels quite 'implanty' and lumpy - not that the lumps are visible. I guess the real seal of approval is that my boyfriend now thinks they feel and look fantastic! Furthermore, having accidentally flashed them at everyone at my dad's 50th birthday party, none of my family have yet expressed any doubts to me about their authenticity!

I'm now exfoliating and fake-tanning again (since 7.5 weeks post-op) which has been no problem. I'm wearing a shocking pink level 4 34DD Shock Absorber bra to work out in now, which Still doesn't cut out the bounce completely, but is the best I've tried so far, and hopefully adequate! In other news.... I think I'm still slightly constipated.. lol. I have stopped using ScarGuard now, as I found it was working a little too well - my scars were becoming inverted! Oh, I've had a few shooting pains in both boobs, which Mr Rezai warned me to expect over the next 6 months - nothing very bad though. Mainly wearing my ASDA sports bra day and night now, just wearing my M&S bras with low-cut tops, and going braless with my boyfriend and on some nights out... not really sure whether I should be cooping them up more or letting them out more regularly! Oh well...

Friday 19 October 2007

7 Weeks Post-op

Had my 6 week check-up with Mr Rezai on Tuesday - he seemed happy with how they were looking and feeling, and said my scars were healing really well, and would end up just being barely visible lines :) He doesn't think they'll change much more from now on, and told me at this stage they are about 80% 'done', as the vast majority of healing and settling takes place during the first 6 weeks. He says I can now resume 'normal life', aside from wearing underwired bras, and can ditch the sports bra, except at the gym, and go braless at night. However, he warns me that I shouldn't go without a bra for more than 1 or 2 hours whilst in a 'vertical position', or, at my 1 year check- up, I will be asking him for an uplift!! Not very happy about this - the whole point of the op was to look amazing without a bra - with a gel bra I could look like a D/DD and get an awesome cleavage before anyway! All my dreams of strapless backless frontless dresses and string bikinis swim before my eyes... I post on the forum to find out what other girls' surgeons have recommended - some agree with mine, whilst others believe it's OK to go without a bra whenever you fancy! I think I'll take the middle ground - stick to wearing a bra 90% of the time, but not worry about going without for the odd night out or wearing a string bikini on holiday... I'm hoping they'll drop a little more at the moment anyway - I'd say they're 80% perfect now, but a little less roundness on top and being a little softer would take them to 100%.

As I said, Mr Rezai reckons it's fine to go back to 'normal life' now - including sleeping on my side, sleeping braless, and wearing normal (albeit non-wired) bras. However, I'm not 100% convinced on this - I have to admit I feel much comfier in a low impact sports bra than in a normal bra or braless, both at night and during the day - they ache and feel heavy otherwise. Also, I'm sure since I have gone back to sleeping on my side and wearing normal bras instead of sports bras they've regained the pointy shape underneath - whether this is due to one factor or the other, or a combination of both, I'm not sure. But anyway, I'm back in my ASDA sports bra, and will try to sleep on my back again if I can stand it!

Mr Rezai also advises me to start massaging my boobs and scars with bio-oil or E45 cream for 20 minutes a day, applying pressure with my fingertips from both sides. I can feel the implants in the underside areas of my breasts when I do this, which is a bit weird (pretty sure the lumps I could feel before are just particularly palpable areas of implant - I can still feel them, but they're not visible, thankfully!) - a kind of jelly like feeling. Otherwise they feel normal though, like particularly firm natural breasts.

I think they might be filling out a bit more now, as the skin relaxes?! They're bursting out of my 34D M&S bra now! Well, if they are, I'm not complaining! I have heard that some other ladies with overs have found they 'grew' at around this time. Otherwise, I don't think they've changed noticeably in the last week, although they may have dropped slightly more. My nipples are still very very sensitive, and I have a little feeling back underneath, but much below normal levels. My boyfriend finally says he 'loves' them, and prefers them to the 'old ones', although he's still experiencing moments of nostalgia! At least his misguided honesty means I can take compliments at face-value!

I can't say the constipation/bloating problems are completely over yet, but I think getting back to working out has definitely helped rev up my metabolism and digestive system again... although I can barely walk after my workout yesterday! Am off to procure a level 4 sports bra tomorrow - do not attempt star jumps in a level 3 bra if you are bigger than a C cup!

Friday 12 October 2007

6 Weeks Post-op

Well, my new toys are 6 weeks old. I've forced myself to sleep on my back for the last 2 nights, which I hated, but I'm sure it's combating the 'pointyness' syndrome! Looking in the full length mirror when I wake up now, they look so much more natural than they ever have, they're really starting to lose the upper pole roundness and fullness and fill out at the bottom like natural breasts. I'm also wearing a (not too constricting) sports bra almost constantly now, which, again, I think is helping with the shape - it's all trial and error really, but I can't afford to have too many errors! They've developed a much more pronounced crease, and fold over to cover both scars when I'm standing. However, I'm still a little worried that the left breast continues to look bigger, though I think this is more noticeable in pictures, and that my nipples are still asymmetrical (the left is higher and smaller than the right). Also, looking at the pictures, I've noticed my left breast is looking slightly angular, especially around the cleavage, and more 'pointy' underneath. Only little things, and not noticeable to others (I hope!) - I think we're all hyper-attuned to our own 'flaws' - real or imagined! I do hope they continue to drop and become more naturally shaped too - I guess only time will tell.


I worked out for the first time since the op - Davina McCall kickboxing DVD workout! I felt really sick and was very red-faced when I'd finished, but on the whole it felt good to be active again and wasn't as hard as expected considering my lazy lifestyle of the last few weeks! My boobs were bouncing around in my Shock Absorber level 3 bra though - when I was a B cup wearing a level 2 bra nothing short of an earthquake would have moved them! Sooo.. looks like I may have to invest in the 5th sports bra I'll have bought in the space of 8 weeks!

I'm pretty sure all the swelling has gone now - my torso looks so much thinner suddenly, and the Shock Absorber bra which gave me back cleavage on the loosest hook is now comfy on the middle hook! Haven't been to the loo for a couple of days though.. ugh! When will it end?!

10 days pre-op, 9 days old, 6 weeks old






Wednesday 10 October 2007

Diary of my Boob Job Experience up to 5 1/2 Weeks!

Pre-op Stats:
Age: 21
Height: 5’7
Bra Size: 34B
Ribcage: 30in
Weight: 64kg
Dress Size: 10-12


Surgery Details:
Date of Surgery: 30/08/07
Surgeon: Allen Rezai http://www.cosmeticsurgeryspecialists.co.uk/
Hospital: Highgate Hospital, London N6
Implant make: PIP
Implant spec: Textured cohesive silicone gel, 335cc, ultra high profile (112mm diameter, 54mm projection)
Implant placement: Over the muscle
Cost: £4000.00 all in (Surgery, hospital, anaesthetic, blood tests, implants, aftercare, follow-up)
Post-op Bra Size: 34DD


Wednesday 8th August 2007
After seriously wanting a boob job for over 2 and a half years, I finally have the necessary cash to go for it, by combining what I’ve managed to save of my student loan, cashed-in children’s bonds and 21st birthday money with reward money from my dad for graduating from Uni with a first class honours degree. Today I go for a consultation with Allen Rezai at his practice at 40 Harley Street. A couple of years ago I met one of his former patients on a modelling job and asked for her surgeon’s name as her boobs looked fab and very natural, which was important to me as I’m not a fan of the obviously fake look. Since then, I’ve done some research on the internet and only found positive reports from his patients, who all seem to agree that he’s given them amazing, natural-looking results with barely noticeable scars. I’ve had some problems arranging the consultation as I was originally told me the wrong date, so that I received a phone call to ask where I was on what I thought was the day before my appointment! So I had to wait another 2 weeks for his next free slot. But finally the day has arrived, and, after waiting for about half an hour in the waiting room and filling in a medical history form, my boyfriend and I meet Mr Rezai. He is very friendly and professional, and seems to have a permanent smile on his face! I want to have a slight bump on my nose removed at the same time, but he will only do one procedure at a time to minimise the risk of complications, discomfort and recovery time, and informs me that my nose is ‘perfect’ anyway, at least from the front! I decide that my breasts are higher on the priority list! The consultation seems to pass at the speed of light - he reels off information on the operation, risks, possible complications and post-operative care, asks if I have questions, and gives me several sheets of paper to sign (informed consent etc.) which he stresses do not commit me to anything, but just mean everything will be ready to go on the day if I decide to have the surgery with him. I am given copies of everything I sign to take home, including explanations of all the potential complications. I ask him what he would do in the event of a complication - he tells me that the most common complication is post-operative bleeding, and that in this case they would keep me in hospital and monitor me for as long as necessary, and that the most common long-term complication is capsular contracture, the risk of which he estimates at about 3%. He says that if this occurred, I would have to have my implants replaced, which he would do free of charge, but that once capsular contracture had occurred once, the risk of it reoccurring would be 50%, and that in the case of a reoccurrence the implants would have to be removed permanently. He also tells me that there are risks of bad scarring, and permanent loss of/change in nipple sensation, but that in the vast majority of cases sensation returns to normal within a year. He also tells me that I would need to avoid aspirin for 2 weeks pre- and post-op, and multi-vitamins for 1 week pre-and post-op, to minimise the risk of excessive bleeding. I ask him whether I would need to avoid anything else, such as garlic, and he agrees that I should indeed also avoid garlic for 2 weeks pre-op and one week post-op. I am also told that I would need to wear a sports bra 23 hours a day for 4 weeks post-op, should not wear underwired bras for 6 months as they could misshape my breasts, should not drive for 7-10 days if my implants are placed over the muscle, or 14 days if they are placed under the muscle, and should wait for 6 weeks before resuming exercise and heavy lifting. He would see me for follow-up appointments 1 week and 2 months after surgery, and then once a year.

Following our discussion, we go into the adjacent examination room (Mr Rezai also invites my boyfriend in) and I am asked to remove my top and bra. My chest is covered in a rash from being so nervous and embarrassed but he puts me at ease, feels my breast tissue and takes my measurements (around the fullest part of each breast, around my chest above the breasts and from my collarbone to each nipple). I discover that my left breast is 2cm fuller than my right (a difference which is not obviously visible), but that my nipples are both the same distance from my collarbone! He doesn’t feel the size difference is enough to warrant the use of different sized implants, and tells me that he would place the implants over the muscle using a crease incision (under the breasts). I put my bra back on and he places a different sized implant in each cup (the minimum and maximum size he would give me). He tells me that the largest size he recommends is based on the largest size which would look natural in terms of my current breast tissue, ribcage, height and hip circumference, and which wouldn’t carry an increased risk of complications (if I want anything bigger than the largest size he recommends I will have to go to another surgeon). He recommends that I go for the maximum size possible, 335cc, but encourages me to look carefully in the mirror at both implants in my bra, under my T-shirt, which he says represents how they would look at 2 months post-op, minus 2mm for the bra. I laugh out loud at the sight of the 335cc implant under my T-shirt, thinking it looks like a Pamela Anderso-style comedy boob! It seems like an enormous difference to me, and actually looks slightly bigger than I really want to be, but based on (a) hearing many times that the vast majority of people who have implants wish that they had gone bigger, (b) his enthusiasm for how good that size would look, and (c) his reassurances that they would look natural, I decide to go for that size. He tells me he thinks I’d get a very good result, and advises me to bring a D-cup sports bra to surgery, but that the final result may be slightly bigger or smaller (to my eyes, under my T-shirt they look more like F-cups but I am hoping for a D/DD). He advises me that I can come back and see him as many times as I want, to ask questions or try on implants to check sizing, free of charge (my initial consultation is also free as I gave the name of the girl who I’d got his name from, presumably as this indicated that I am reasonably serious about having the op with him), but that otherwise, if I decide to have surgery with him, he would see me on the morning of the op!

He then leaves me with Trisha, his secretary, who writes down the cost of surgery (£4000 all in, including surgical fee, anaesthetist fee, hospital fee, implants, follow-up appointments and aftercare) and a list of free dates within the timeframe I am looking at (as soon as possible following the 2 week cooling-off period he insists on) and tells me to call her to book a date if I decide to go with Mr Rezai. There is absolutely no pressure from either of them to book the surgery. She tells me that payment would be due 10 days before surgery, and that I would have to have a blood test (also included in the fee) by 2 weeks before the date of the op.


Thursday 9th August
The next morning, I call Trisha to book surgery for the first available date (in 3 weeks time, Thursday 30th August). She asks if I have any other questions and checks I am happy with the agreed implant size, then tells me she will organise my ‘booking’ and write to me.


Saturday 11th August
I receive a confirmation letter from Trisha telling me I should be at Highgate Hospital for 9am on the 30th, and giving me some additional pre- and post-op instructions (not to eat or drink after midnight on the 29th, not to get the wounds wet until after my first check-up, to limit my upper arm activities as much as possible for the first week following surgery, especially during the first 48 hours, to sleep on my back for the first 48 hours and keep my head and shoulders raised if possible, and to avoid alcohol for 48 hours after surgery (!)


Monday 13th August
I go for my blood test, at a clinic near Harley Street. Didn’t need to make an appointment, and have hardly sat down in the waiting room when the nurse calls for me. Being a bit squeamish (I hate anything to do with veins or blood, even looking at the veins under my/other people’s skin, my heart races when I anticipate having my blood pressure checked at my Pill check-ups, and I had to lie with my head on the desk during video-watching time in Biology lessons so I didn’t faint/throw up, despite having a navel piercing and a tattoo!) I have been dreading this, not to mention the actual op! The nurse puts a belt/band thing with cartoons on it round my arm, and then I turn my head away until it’s over. I just feel a small prick in my inner elbow, far less painful than I expected, and hear the blood gurgling out :s Then she puts some cotton wool on the wound, and tells me to press down on it. After a couple of minutes, she replaces it with a tiny circular plaster and I walk out beaming with pride at my heroism!


Tuesday 14th August
I tell my mum today (the only person so far aside from my boyfriend, best mate, and a few of my boyfriend’s mates who I decided to share with when pissed!). As expected she isn’t happy, says she thinks it is a very bad idea, there is nothing wrong with my boobs now, it is a waste of money and it is stupid to have an unnecessary operation. I keep my cool and say that’s fine but it is my decision, I’ve made up my mind and she doesn’t have to have any involvement in the process, aside from not serving me blood-thinning food! I’m planning to keep it a secret from the rest of the family.


Wednesday 15th August
Following a lot of frantic shuffling of money from different accounts, I send off my cheque for £4000 to Mr Rezai, no going back now!


Thursday 16th August
I start minimising my consumption of foods containing blood-thinning ingredients (which seems to be three-quarters of my diet, being a vegetarian!) Meet my mum, grandmother and uncle in town for coffee and shopping - spread the lie that I’m going to stay with a friend for a few days. Mum buys me a little red dress which will look Awesome with my new D/DD cups! She has sulked with me for the last 2 days, mainly by ignoring me and making huffy faces/noises, but today she seems to have come round to the idea and is acting normally and planning non-blood-thinning meals!


Friday 17th August
Go shopping with my boyfriend for supplies! 34D sports bras from M&S and Asda, Palmer’s anti-stretchmark cream, arnica to help prevent/reduce bruising and swelling, microporous surgical tape to put on my scars, constipation pills in case I react badly to the general anaesthetic or painkillers, vitamin E to take after the op to help soften internal scar tissue and reduce the chances of capsular contracture, paracetamol, hair elastics without metal so I can have my waist-length hair plaited for the op and first few days of the recovery period and thus reduce the chances of it turning into an impenetrable bird’s nest, protein powder to help with healing and 2 books to reduce boredom! Also order ScarGuard from the internet - it’s £50 for a small bottle, but it’s the only treatment I’ve found which is clinically proven to help prevent bad scarring, so I figure it’s a small price to pay, considering I’m spending thousands on the op, the most money I’ve ever had in my life considering the fact that I’ve been a student since I was 5! I start massaging in the stretchmark cream morning and night to help my skin become more supple in preparation for the op.


Wednesday 29th August
My boyfriend drives us to the Raglan Hotel in North London, just a few minutes down the road from the hospital (reception to rival the Hilton, rooms to rival a badly decorated cardboard box, but habitable enough!). Incomprehensibly, it takes us over 2 hours to get there from South London, leaving at 8pm! I try on my M&S sports bra; he laughs at how huge and wrinkly it is - will I really fill this tomorrow?! My main feeling up to this point has been excitement, but I have had a few moments of ‘What am I doing?!’ - though they aren’t big, my breasts aren’t tiny, and are pert and nicely shaped - the only thing I want to change is the size, and aside from this and the view of the little bump on my nose from the side, I’m 100% happy with my looks (in fact my main worry is that one day I won’t have them!) so it’s hard to judge whether the surgery is worth the inherent risks. But I so want to be 100% happy, full stop (without the assistance of gel bras!) that I think it’s worthwhile. Most people I’ve told have seemed shocked and told me I don’t need to do it (aside from my boyfriend who said it was the best idea he’d ever heard in the world, but who has recently been worrying a lot about the risks and getting very emotional about losing the old ones which he’s loved for over 4 years) - I feel embarrassed - like they must think I have some kind of body dysmorphic disorder or something, but although I don’t Need the surgery, the people who are telling me I don’t need it tend to only see me in bras which make me look how I’m hoping the surgery will make me look without them! I've recently joined an online cosmetic surgery support forum - http://www.lookyourbestuk.com/, and it's been great to talk to people who are going through/have been through the same experiences and have the same feelings. I have a cereal bar, some fruit and my last drink of water just before midnight, then go to bed.


Thursday 30th August - The big day!
I only get a few hours sleep, and wake up early. I have a quick shower while my boyfriend has breakfast; then we set off. The journey doesn’t take too long; we almost miss the hospital as it’s so tiny and looks more like a house! We arrive just before 9am, I wait in reception, fill in my next of kin details and check all the other information they have about me, and after 15 minutes or so I’m shown to my room. It’s carpeted, has an ensuite bathroom and flat screen TV, and aside from the (remote controlled) bed is like an upmarket Travel Lodge room. I unpack and put my valuables in the safe; then we sit and wait. Mr Rezai comes in wearing his surgical scrubs, beaming as usual! He marks me up and takes 'before’ shots, asks me if I have any questions, and tells me not to worry, it’s a nice operation and I’m gonna be absolutely fine! A (very cheerful and friendly) nurse asks me all the last minute questions on medical history etc, gives me a consent form to sign, checks my blood pressure and weight, puts identity and allergy alert bands on my wrist and gives me a lovely hospital gown and pair of paper knickers to wear, and the anaesthetist also comes in to introduce herself and ask a few questions about my medical history. Surprisingly, I barely feel nervous at all - there’s no rash and the usual heart thumping which occurs just at the thought of having my blood pressure taken hasn’t happened. I haven’t even been at the hospital for an hour before I’m collected by the nurse at 9.50am to walk to theatre. She leaves the room while I say goodbye to my boyfriend and he kisses the little boobs bye bye; then we walk to the lift and go down to theatre. As soon as I walk through the door, the anaesthetist and her nurse (a very chirpy Essex girl) start talking to me, alternating chatting about my hair, where I stayed last night, and what I’m up to with my life at the moment with asking me more questions about my medical history and whether the signature on the consent form is mine, while I lie down, they rearrange my gown like a boob tube, hook me up to various monitors and the anaesthetist pulls a band round my arm and sticks a needle and catheter in my hand (more painful than the blood test but bearable) - it’s a surreal flurry of activity, and I can hear my own heartbeat as a series of loud beeps filling the room, speeding up and slowing down with my thoughts… I’m chatting about my travelling plans when I feel the anaesthetic hit me - just a few seconds in which I feel my head go cloudy and I think ‘OK, I’m going under now, I’m gonna stop talking or I’ll start sounding stupid!’, and then I’m under.

I wake up in the recovery room hearing a nurse calling my name. She tells me I’ve had my operation and it all went fine. I say ‘OK’. I remember hearing stories about other people saying stupid things when they come round and I don’t want that to be me! I don’t really feel any pain or heaviness, except for a dull ache in my chest, but I’m soooo tired, feel like I’ve woken up after a long sleep. I really wanna go back to sleep, but I make myself stay awake so they’ll take me back to my room and my boy. I look at the clock and it’s 10.40, only 50 minutes since I went into theatre. I’m hooked up to a drip via the catheter in my hand. Someone asks me if I’m OK and I say ‘Yeah just tired!’. They put an oxygen mask on me. After about 15 minutes they take it off and tell me I’m going back to my room. A man wheels my bed into the lift and back into my room. The feeling of being half-asleep gradually goes away, and I start shaking uncontrollably. They pile blankets and towels on me but I still feel cold and can’t stop shaking. After a while (15 minutes or so?) it stops. I don’t feel sick, and I don’t have any pain except for aches around the surgical drains in the side of each boob, which are draining blood through 2 tubes into a little container, but I do feel very groggy. Boyfriend asks how I feel - I feel annoyed and think it’s a stupid question, snapping ‘How do you think?!’ He responds ‘At least you’re not dead!’ Apparently I respond with a withering look! But I start feeling better and drinking water, though I avoid going to the loo for several hours as the nurse has told me not to get up on my own, and I am attached to the drip, and to a little bag of my own blood and fluid through the drains - thank God I’m not desperate to go! I have my blood pressure and pulse checked every hour, and spend the first few hours talking to my boyfriend and watching DVDs on my portable DVD player (my lifeline while I was there!) I don’t feel like reading, but the DVD player is great - I can just put my headphones on and tune out the world and the pain. I have tea and toast, which is very welcome as I am starving after the 12 hour fast! I don’t move for the first few hours and refuse painkillers at 3pm as I don’t feel like I need them, but then my first trip to the toilet is HELL. The nurse programs the bed into the right position, then I carefully shift myself to the edge, holding my little bag of blood, but when I get up my boobs hurt SO much it feels like they’re being yanked off. She waits outside the door, and flushes the chain and turns the taps on and off for me, though thankfully I can pull my own paper pants up and down! Another nurse puts my sports bra on - I look at my new boobs for the first time as she pulls the gown down - they’re kind of angular and weird looking, but not too scary. I don’t feel anything as the bra touches them, it’s like they’re just stuck on, not really part of me. Once the nurse has gone, my boyfriend reveals his, er, excitement to see the new additions! But then I see with horror that my left boob is bursting out of the bra, but the right one doesn’t fill its cup at all, the material is still all wrinkly! They’re so uneven it’s ridiculous! Mr Rezai arrives soon after, feels them and tells me everything went fine and not to worry about the size difference, or that they are high and pointing sideways!

The pain gradually increases until it is agony just lying in the bed and I have to ask for painkillers. I feel a lot better after taking them. I’m also having spasms in my pec muscles, just where my chest joins my arms. These continue periodically for the first few days. Dinner arrives at 6pm - I hate the idea of eating ‘hospital food’ (one of my weird ‘things’), but force down my pasta, which is actually surprisingly good - I get a little tub of Haagen Dazs for dessert which cheers me up a bit. I have to get my boyfriend to change me out of the paper pants and into my (less itchy!) cotton ones as I can’t bend down to put them on. At 8pm he leaves to go out for dinner with the friend he’s staying with - I burst into tears as he tries to go! I spend the rest of the evening watching DVDs and steadily getting hungrier, waiting for the food he’s promised to bring back. He finally comes back at midnight, and I take another trip to the toilet, which hurts even more than the last few, it is the worst pain I have ever experienced. Standing, and making almost any kind of movement, hurts, including shifting in bed - I feel like someone is pulling my boobs out from the inside! The only things I can do without pain (when fully dosed up on painkillers) are lie down and make small movements with my forearms (e.g. when eating). It’s not what I was expecting, given what I’ve heard from other people who’ve had ‘overs’. The only ray of sunshine is that my right boob has somehow grown throughout the evening and now almost fills its cup, whilst the left has shrunk slightly, so they pretty much now match! My boyfriend is ushered out after 5 minutes so they can lock up, and I watch old Prison Breaks whilst eating kebab shop chips and veggie burger in the dark (I didn’t notice the button for the light on the remote control, doh!). I get painkillers and sleeping pills at 11pm but I have pain throughout the night and am not used to sleeping on my back or without earplugs, and only sleep for a couple of hours.


Friday 31st August - 1 day post-op
I wake up at about 5.30am and switch on the TV. Breakfast comes early, and I get my blood pressure checked around 6am. The catheter is taken out of my hand (the drip was taken out a few hours after the op but they left the catheter in) - it hurts! Maybe more than having it put in! A paper arrives, although I didn’t order one, so I spend a while reading that. At 8.30 my boyfriend still hasn’t texted me to say he’s leaving to come to the hospital and I suspect he may still be asleep, so I call him continuously until he wakes up! He’s a bit annoyed! He arrives at about 9.30, and soon afterwards a nurse comes to take my drains out. I am prepared for the worst, in fact since having the tube removed from my wrist, the anticipation of this moment has given me the worst nerves of this whole experience! But it’s really nothing; in fact, having the catheter taken out of my wrist hurt much more. Apparently Mr Rezai doesn’t place drains too deeply, thankfully! Like all the other staff, the nurse is very friendly - she gives me my implant identification card (PIP textured cohesive silicone gel, 335cc, ultra high profile - higher profile implants give greater projection and volume on a smaller base than lower profile implants of the same size), tells me about the discharge procedure and gives me advice for the first few days (only take as many painkillers as you really need as they can make you very constipated; use your bum to move instead of your arms; don’t go out for a week to avoid stray elbows!). I manage to get up and make one last toilet trip, get dressed in my tracksuit bottoms and zip-up top, brush my hair and walk s...l…o…w…l…y to the car after collecting my medication.

The traffic on the journey home is ridiculous, and we are forced to make several detours. The painkillers wear off and every bump and corner is AGONY. Eventually I am stuck slumped diagonally across the seat back as any kind of movement hurts once again and to move out of that position would kill me. Two and a half hours later we are home and I can take my painkillers! They make me really dizzy and I find I can’t get my eyes to focus on anything, but the pain becomes manageable again. I walk around the house a bit, but soon feel tired and in a bit of pain, so I go to bed and watch DVDs. Trisha calls to see how I am at about 6pm and I haul myself out of bed to the phone. I still have the pulling pain when I shift in bed/stand up/walk around, though it is not as bad as it was (i.e. it doesn’t make me feel like crying!). She advises me to rest completely over the weekend and that I will feel much better on Monday. I don’t believe her! I can’t imagine ever feeling normal again and hate being an ‘invalid’. I don’t feel like eating dinner and just pick at it, although I have been eating normally up til now. During the evening I conduct a sensitivity test on my boobs (i.e. poking them!) - I have no sensation at all in either breast from my nipples to my incisions, and I can’t make my nipples erect. I’m still having muscle spasms and my boobs are very itchy, especially around the incisions. In the late evening, I start feeling really really sick - not sure if it’s the painkillers or the antibiotics, or a combination of the two. After a few hours it subsides and I attempt to sleep.


Saturday 1st September - 2 days post-op
I didn’t sleep well upright and on my back again. The pain of my bra band pressing into my incisions is unbearable, so I ask my boyfriend to buy me a Shock Absorber bra to see if it makes any difference. He arrives with the bra, herbal Nytol and earplugs (I love you!). As soon as he puts the new bra on for me, the pain is reduced by about 75% (both the incision pain and the pulling pain) as the band is so much more comfortable and the bra is so much more supportive. I can now stand up and sit down much more easily, although the pain is still there. However, my back is so swollen he has to yank the back band to get it hooked together, and it is so tight I have back cleavage! Very uncomfortable! My mum cuts up an old bra and I get a home-made bra-extender - heaven! I manage to get up to watch X Factor without dad suspecting there is something wrong with me which isn’t tonsillitis (the cover story!).


Sunday 2nd September - 3 days post-op
The pain is still there, but once again I feel much better. Trisha is still calling me every day to check on me. I stop taking the painkillers. Oh and I go to the loo ‘properly’ for the first time since before the op! Though it is like rabbit droppings! I take some pictures of my new boobs - the left one is sitting slightly higher and is still slightly bigger. They are very high and look round in the pictures (though in real life they look angular from above and pointy in the mirror!) but I’m happy with them - they look like they’ll look great when they drop a bit and settle into place - I’ve looked at lots of other people’s photos and know I can’t expect them to be perfect straight away. Though I’m slightly paranoid about the fact that they’re uneven! My right nipple is also much bigger than the left, although there was no noticeable difference pre-surgery, and they seem to be pointing outwards. I look bloated in the pictures and feel like I look pregnant (hence the pictures being cut off at ribcage level!)


Tuesday 4th September - 5 days post-op
I kneel on the bathroom floor and lean over the bath so mum can wash my hair. I dry it myself. I walk and travel on trains and buses to go to my follow-up appointment with Mr Rezai - no pain! I feel ‘normal’ again, just have a little pain where my bra presses on my incisions and an achey, heavy feeling in my boobs. Mr Rezai seems very pleased with them. He removes the dressings and shows me the scars - they look very neat and well placed, though they are covered in scabs still. He tells me to wear steri-strips over them until he next sees me in 5-6 weeks’ time, drying them with a hairdryer on the cool setting after showering and changing them every couple of days. He seems pretty confident that my sensation will eventually return to normal, and hopefully sooner rather than later. I’m not allowed to have a bath for 6 weeks.

They look HUGE in a tight T-shirt - they have so much projection and stick out at the sides of my torso, further than my hips! I Love it! I don’t see one person in London with bigger boobs than me today, ha! Mr Rezai says they’ll be slightly smaller when the swelling goes down - I’m praying they don’t shrink too much. My boyfriend is reacting to them with a strange mixture of excitement, fear, and wonder. They elicit an automatic erection every time they come out, but he seems slightly scared of them, and keeps repeating ‘They’re so BIG’ - he says they’ll take some ‘getting used to’ - hmmm… He also says they’re still very fake looking and feel hard, and that the left one is bigger and higher and they have quite a big gap between them… All of which I know, and I know he also says he’s sure the finished result will be amazing, and I know it should be, but his comments are really hurting me and playing on my insecurities that they won’t become natural-looking and even, because there are no guarantees, it’s just a waiting game really…

I was dying to have sex after nearly a week, but we were worried about blood pressure-raising activity causing bleeding and haematoma - still, he didn’t take too much convincing! It was fantastic, although I was good and kept my sports bra on!


Wednesday 5th August
I’m using the stretchmark cream morning and night again - hoping it will help the skin relax and so assist with dropping and ‘fluffing’. My nipple sensation has started to come back! I felt tingles in both nipples whilst I was massaging in the cream.


Friday 7th August
I changed the steri-strips for the first time - also painted ScarGuard on. They look amazing in clothes - make a real difference to my figure and whole ‘look’ - they even make my legs look thinner! And I can now do a pretty impressive pec dance - I didn’t even know where my pec muscles were before! My boyfriend reckons the extra weight has trained them up!


Saturday 8th August - 9 days post-op
I took a new set of pictures, which show that they’ve really evened up, and the gap between them has narrowed. Also the bloating has gone down and my waist looks tiny! People on the internet forums have been really complimentary - one woman even said they were the best boobs she’d ever seen! But then more of my boyfriend’s comments that they still look fake and feel hard got me down again, even though he also said that they’re looking better every time he sees them. My nipples are very sensitive now, but only painful sensations at the moment. I also have some feeling on the undersides of both breasts again.


Thursday 13th August - 2 weeks post-op
Took a new set of pictures - the right is now sitting lower than the left again - I hope they are just dropping at different rates and will eventually become even! They are softening and dropping into a more natural position - the undersides now slightly hang over the creases. The gap between them has narrowed a bit more. Most, if not all, of the swelling has gone down now - today I felt they looked tiny! My boyfriend says that they are still really big for my frame and any larger would look ridiculous but I feel really disappointed! Now they don’t look any bigger to me than my old gel bras, but according to him they are a lot bigger… I know it’s all psychological - I tried on some bras and it seems I am a 34DD! But I looked in the mirror and thought ‘I look like about a C cup!’ Which to me now is probably like an A cup was to me before! Bought a 34DD bra from Calvin Klein and a 34D bra from M&S, which are both very snug (obv M&S are known for their generous sizing) - both non-wired but relatively low-cut, for wearing with more revealing clothes once I’m not confined to the sports bra 23/7 anymore. Not much choice of non-wired bras in the non-granny variety though, they were v hard to find… can’t believe I have to wait til March to wear underwire again! I ran out of steri-strips and started using micropore tape (coupled with ScarGuard) instead, as it seems to be impossible to get steri-strips of the right size either on the net or in shops!


Friday 14th August - 15 days post-op
OK, maybe they are quite big! I’m loving my new fifties hourglass shape, I’ve always loved classic 40s/50s style and now I have the body to go with it I’m cultivating a whole new wardrobe! Cute shirts/blouses cinched in with wide waist belts, pretty neckerchiefs, skinny black jeans, slinky pencil skirts, sexy t-bars, peep-toes and round-toe courts. Not to mention my Marilyn-stylee halter dresses and corsets - can’t wait til I can wear those! Looking back through my pictures, they haven’t really shrunk noticeably, it’s strange how noticeable it is to me! But they do still stick out at the sides, yay! Fingers crossed they’ll drop a bit more and become fuller at the bottom - then they should be perfect. The scars look a lot better than they did yesterday - they have changed from red to pink, and are basically just lines now - not inflamed anymore. I’ve been bloated and constipated again for the last few days, but seem to be improving again today - not sure if it’s a hangover from the GA/medication - I’ve never had any problems like this before.


Saturday 15th September - 16 days post-op
I get to have sex again for the second time since the op - feel like I’m permanently horny- whether the new breasts are acting as an aphrodisiac I don’t know! My boyfriend says they’re looking much more natural.


Sunday 16th September - 17 days post-op
The left boob has dropped a bit more, so they look more even again! Still having bloating and toilet troubles… But I’m so glad I did it!


Thursday 20th September - 3 weeks post-op
It’s amazing being able to try on all types of clothes without a bra and still have boobs and look great - strappy, strapless, low cut, bikinis, whatever! My new pictures don’t seem to differ much from last week’s, which is strange, as both my boyfriend and I feel like they’ve changed a lot in this time. I’m worried they won’t drop any more now!


Thursday 28th September - 4 weeks post-op
New pictures show they’ve dropped a lot since last week, which I’m happy about - saw some pictures on the internet forum of a girl who had 385cc overs whose boobs looked fake at 5 weeks post-op, but amazingly natural at 4 months, which has given me hope! They still look quite ‘fake’ in a full-length mirror, with a lot of upper pole fullness and roundness, but I’m hopeful this is slowly changing! I don’t want them to drop tooo far though! I feel like the left one is looking noticeably larger in the pictures now, although it doesn’t it real life. I have come to the end of my compulsory sports bra-wearing period and am testing out my soft Calvin Klein bra - not very attractive but at least I can wear relatively low cut tops - it’s a 34DD and slightly tight! When I look in the mirror now I wish they were bigger - it’s crazy I know, I would have killed to be a 34DD/E before the op!! My boyfriend says they’re huge and the biggest he’s ever seen in real life, but now I’ve got used to them and the swelling has gone down they don’t feel big to me at all!! In the close-up pics they look lush though, really full. They have softened up loads, are now squeezable and jiggle a bit when I move! If anything though, my nipples are becoming more painful - the lightest touch can be agony, even taking my bra off! Also am Still having trouble with constipation and bloating - something I’d never experienced before the op - took some laxatives last night which had the desired effect this morning - maybe too much of the desired effect! But don’t know if the problem has gone for good..


Thursday 4th October - 5 weeks post-op
Photos show hardly any change from last week. Since I passed the 4 week compulsory sports bra wearing period, I have alternated between different sports bras, my other non-wired bras, and going braless - sometimes it feels really good to get out of a sports bra, sometimes it feels great to put one on again! I wore my new wrap dress out on my 22nd birthday last weekend with my M&S non-wired bra to show off my new cleavage and received an, ahem, appreciative comment! I can now feel my left implant rippling through my skin - it’s a squidgy lump on the underside of my breast on the cleavage side - like a cross between jelly and bubble wrap - luckily it’s invisible! It’s mainly palpable when I bend forward, or when I’m wearing a bra, and feeling inside, rather than through, the bra. I am Still having troubles with bloating and constipation, occasionally taking the constipation relief tablets I got from Boots which make things better for a while.


Sunday 7th October - 5 ½ weeks post-op
I’m slightly worried my boobs may be losing their round shape underneath in favour of a more ‘pointy’ look - maybe from sleeping on my side or not wearing a bra enough and letting them drop too quickly? Or maybe it’s just a phase they’re going through as they drop… They are looking much better though, and more even in size than they have been recently - I have had a real love-hate relationship with them over the last few weeks, from thinking it was a stupid mistake to believing it’s the best thing I’ve ever done and they are the breasts I was always meant to have. My boyfriend is much happier with them now and says he’ll be happy even if they don’t change any more. My scars seem to have become inverted, rather than raised, and are very fine red lines - so I’ve stopped using the ScarGuard, as it seems to have been working a little Too well, and have been massaging them with the Palmer’s stretchmark cream when I massage the rest of my breasts. I seem to have an allergy to microporous surgical tape - it had given me scabby, itchy red sores around my scars, so I’ve left them bare for the last few days. I can now feel a slight rippling in my right breast in the same spot as on the left - it doesn’t bother me though, and I’m actually quite addicted to playing with them!! My stomach and waist finally look back to normal, after the latest dose of laxatives, I’m hoping my problems will improve when I can start exercising again next week… My boobs look bigger in comparison to the rest of my body now too! I’ve actually lost 4lbs since the op, so taking into account the fact that my implants weigh 1.5lbs, I’ve lost about 5.5lbs - not intentionally, but I’m not complaining, I just hope it isn’t all muscle! They’re looking great and natural close-up now, but still very fake and lapdancer-esque from a distance due to the upper pole fullness and shape… But they have become much softer and extremely squeezable!